dI am learning – again – by doing – and exposing myself to an avalanche of nos. And by doing so – I am learning that all those nos have nothing to do with me. And everything to do with the ones giving them.

The non-attachment to outcomes gives me the freedom to re-think and find other ways. To avoid engaging in ideas and plans that will never be, no matter how enthusiastic I first am about them. If there are solid nos – I am letting go. As gracefully as I can.

Every no is valid. And the thing is – if that is what comes to people when I suggest things, a solid no – then I do not want to engage in whatever it was I had ideas, suggestions, perhaps even plans around. I am all for mutuality and reciprocity.

I do not want to work against anyone’s no. I do not want to persuade anyone to do anything. I have my enthusiasm, my drive, my engagement and so on – what others have – is for them to figure out (if they want to).  What I mean is that I will find solutions. And I harbor no hard feelings towards those who choses to not work with me, are not interested in my ideas and suggestions, etc.

There will always be things I can do. That I want to do. And I am learning that sometimes – doing them on my own – is the solution. I don’t need partners. I do want partners – I love working in teams! But the existence of a team is not determining what I will do. I used to think that I need partners – as my ideas usually were big – but I have learned to instead scale my ideas, re-think them. Adapt them, instead of me adapting to circumstances that will not be beneficial to me.

I am practicing seeing all the nos as doors that I am not meant to walk through. Even if I do not understand, like or appreciate the no to my ideas and suggestions – I am learning to appreciate the no in itself. Not as a lost opportunity – but as a re-direction for me – towards something else.

Therefore, it is so important for me these days to share what I want, what I think, where I am heading – so the ones who are interested in some shared adventures and enterprises can find me – and those who are not will know where they have me. And I will know where I have them.

Life is too short to dwell on things that will never be or become with people I think would be ideal to work with. Or in places that I think would be perfect for my ideas.

It is learning to take the nos also as gifts. Not as rejections. Not as hurdles or obstacles to always overcome – but to see that all of them point somewhere. And all I have to do is to follow the path they lay out for me. As when I do – I will instead find the yeses.

Text and pictures are copyright protected © Katarina Felicia (Ally.) Lundgren, 2023


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Wednesday, 19 June 2024